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i am addicted
Last Post 30 May 2011 02:00 AM by JudgeNeil. 4 Replies. |
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Chavon28
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| 24 Aug 2010 02:15 PM |
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For some reason i am addicted to haveing guys fall for me even when i do not have feelings for them and its getting to the point where i am hurting people but i cant stop. The more guys i juggle the more I want. Its gotten so bad that i am even leading on my ex husband that we can work things out and have a boyfriend on the side....what is wrong with me? I know i have esteem issues but its getting out of control the need for this
chavonmarie,28,f,colorado |
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JudgeNeil
Posts:394
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| 24 Aug 2010 08:22 PM |
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Judge Neil's Advice
When I first read your post I felt sorry for all the people you are hurting with your addiction to their affections. But after carefully considering your question I actually feel your pain...
The issue here is much more than a self esteem issue. You are so desperately lonely that you always try to fill yourself up with these superficial affections. The affections and emotions you are getting by doing this is more like candy. It makes you happy for the moment, but it leaves you feeling empty so you rush out to take another bite of that candy bar. I bet you are at the point if you have no affections in a day it drives you crazy!
What you are longing for is a deep connection but you have either been hurt before or never had that connection. So you keep getting guys falling for you and keep them hanging on so the loneliness won't overtake you. You are not complete in yourself and so no one will ever give you that peace.
You should stop seeing EVERYONE and take the time to be lonely for a while. Find yourself... Then when you are happy alone you can share that happiness with someone else and be even happier. ;)
Good luck and check in! |
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bigbangahangacompton
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| 29 Aug 2010 01:35 AM |
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I once was in your situation, and i couldn't handle only ONE guy. I felt like i needed to have the "extra" love from other people as well. As it proceeded, things went to a total downfall. Eventually, people found out about my other relationships, i know this sounds like im a big slut, but i for one think that all ladies feel this way at a certain time point, for example when you have a guy n' you soon see all his different flaws, your going to get tired of this type of attituide n' routine that he plays on a daily basis. Your going to find "other" guys that suit your expectations, and this process will keep happening. My advice to you is to, 1.) Realize that all men have flaws, no matter how perfect he looks. 2.) See your guy for him, and notice his perfections 3.) When you meet someone new, catch yourself falling, and keep ya mind on your GUY and your guy ONLY. 4.) Jus stay loyal, and everything will happen in good deeds.
I hope things will get better aftertime, and that you will stick to one guy only. If anythings wrong happens, or your in doubt, judge neil will always be here. Mahalo Nui Loa.
bigbanghangacompton/24Female/HNL |
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ichlahvyou
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| 16 Dec 2010 09:57 AM |
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i do that, alot. i find out someone likes me,and i play on it. it makes me feel like im in control.
maybe you need to be in control? you like to lead them on, let them chase you, it makes you feel special, but then you tell them to give up, you upset them. maybe someone upset you, and deep down you dont know why. you upset other people to see how it makes you feel. therefore you dont care how they feel.
why dont you ask that person why they hurt you. that way, you can stop hurting everyone else. |
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JudgeNeil
Posts:394
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