I'm a 20 year old girl, and I still live at home.. which drives me crazy at the moment I don't know what is going with my mom, but it seems like she never listens to me. She is complaining all the time about me. (I have Pfeiffer's disease (also known as kissing disease) so I'm always very tired during the day, my immune system is also low at the moment.) I have a boyfriend and I don't have enough energy to go to his house. My boyfriend and I are mostly here, and my mom always complains; why are you always here, why don't you stay this weekend at his house? When I've told her so many times that I'm really to tired to go. a Psychologist recently found out that I have autism, and it seems like my mom is.. embassared by it. She never wants to talk about it. When I tell her something about it she is like: no, that is not you, I've never noticed that, etc. She also doens't have alot of money, sometimes she needs to borrow money from me for grocery and stuff, but also then she blames it on me. She always says: I buy to many things for you, I can't buy you chocolate anymore (for instance) while I mostly pay for my own things, I hardly ask for anything. She orders alot of clothes from the internet, last month she ordered 3 jackets, but she hasn't even wore them. Every 2/3 weeks there comes a package for her which contains clothes ( I've started counting it) And I guess that is the reason why she always has to borrow money from me. All of this, it's just, I don't get what's wrong. Telling her does not work, I've told her many times to stop ordering so much. I wish she could be a little nicer to me. It is always different with her. Sometimes she is nice to me, but her mood can change in no time, just like that. Most of the time she's just crancky.. Sometimes I just get mad when she blames me for something and then I tell her that she is not being nice. but she always goes in defense and sometimes she even calls me a bitch.. :/ It's been going on like this for almost a year now. she had her 'midlifecrisis' 5 years ago so I don't think that's the problem.. I wonder if I am doing something wrong?

Hi there
Yes I forgot to mention that my parents are divorced. They still have contact with each other as friends, but even though they still argue sometimes. My dad noticed the same thing about her so..
the piont with them is that my dad still loves my mom but my mom does not love him anymore. They still see each other in a friendly way, but my mom told me that there is no way for her to see him everyday. that would be too much for her.
Other than my dad she only has me.. She knows a few people from her work, but not in a 'best friends' way.
Yes I have my own money but it is not enough to be able to rent a place. My boyfriend is still in school but we've definitely talked about having our own place.
In my country you can get money from the government when you are not able to work, based on how much you can and cant do.
Because of my autism, they have to do some psygologic ''tests'' to see if there are some options for me to work or not, but I still don't know when exactly, there's a six month waiting list so. Things are a bit hectic but I think I just have the be patient just a little longer. untill then I get a compensation which contains a certain amount of money per month.
I think you are right about my mom, I havent looked at it that way. But reading this does make a lot of sense. I think she still needs to deal with some things from the past, I know she never had an easy life.
Maybe when I move out of the house things will get better. I surely hope so :)
You are right about the money thing. I should at least slow down with giving her money and come to an agreement with her first. I think that would solve alot.
Thank you for your advice! I really think these are some good solutions for now. I feel more hopefull now! :)